


Attack of the Rampaging Fluff Bunnies

by Eriador117



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, First Time, Het and Slash, Humor, M/M, Parody, Romance, Teacher-Student Relationship, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2011-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eriador117/pseuds/Eriador117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can Snape save Harry from the bunnies before it's too late? Dedicated to Reddwarfer who reckoned I owed the boys some fluff after the angst I normally put them through :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Attack of the Rampaging Fluff Bunnies

**Attack of the Ramgaing Fluff Bunnies**

Hermione had just settled down in her Arithmancy class when Ron burst in, his face almost as red as his hair and panting heavily.

"Hermione! Come quick! It's Harry!"

Hermione scrambled out of her seat and giving an apologetic look to Professor Vector, followed Ron out of the classroom and all the way up to the North Tower.

"Did he have a vision in Divination?" she asked breathessly as they climbed the stairs. "Is his scar hurting?"

"No, it's worse than that," said Ron ominously. "Someone left the windows open. That's how they came in."

"Who?"

Ron paused at the foot of the silver ladder and looked at her seriously. "Hermione, I have to warn you, it's bad in there. You might not be prepared for it."

"Oh, God, Ron! What is it? Tell me!" she demanded.

"Harry's - Harry's been bitten by rampaging fluff bunnies!"

"No, surely not! We're in an angst story, aren't we?"

"It's even worse than that," said Ron. "They were pink bunnies. Pink bunnies with white fluffy tails and hairbands!"

"NO!!!" screamed Hermione. "Not het bunnies? But she's a slash writer!"

Ron nodded and took out a crumpled piece of parchment from his trouser pocket. "This was all Lupin could find, but Hermione - it's all here, all the stories she used to write. Before she discovered Harry Potter. They were all - they were all het."

Hermione thought she might faint. "Ron, you've got to go and fetch Professor Snape. He's the only one strong enough to slash this story. I'll go and try to help Harry until you get back."

"Right," said Ron, looking pale at the thought of having to tell Snape what had happened.

Hermione climbed the ladder and entered the Divination classroom, ready to face the worst.

Harry was lying on the floor, curled up in a ball. Lavender and Parvati were both kneeling down beside him, trying to touch him, but they kept hitting each other out of the way so that neither one of them could achieve it.

"He's my boyfriend!" hisssed Parvati as she took a vicious swipe at Lavender's cheek.

"No! He's mine! We're going to get married on Valentine's Day and he's going to give me roses every day! We'll go on picnics and long romanic walks!" Lavender snapped back.

"He's going to write me poetry and propose to me after he's caught the snitch in the last Quidditch match of the season! We're going to have twelve children, all girls!" Parvati tried to pull her friend's hair.

"Girls, girls, girls," sighed Professor Trelawney. "That's enough. Leave Mr. Potter alone. I won't have anyone here touching my fiance."

Just then, Harry looked up and caught sight of Hermione.

"Hermione! Thank God! Can you stop them? Hermione?"

God, thought Hermione. How come I never noticed how _green_ his eyes were before? They were almost glowing, magnifed by those wonderful glasses. And that toned Seeker body, the boy was a dark haired Adonis and Hermione knew she wanted him for herself.

"Hermione?" squeaked Harry as she prowled towards the boy on the floor.

***

"Is this some sort of joke, Weasley?" demanded Snape at the foot of the ladder. He had never been in Sybil Trelawney's domain before and he didn't really want to start now.

"No, sir, it's not a joke," said Ron, looking a bit green around the gills. "It was awful!"

"Where's Miss Granger?"

"I left her there with Harry."

"Are you insane, boy? You left her there with Harry infected by het bunnies? She'll not be able to resist, no woman will!"

Snape climbed the ladder two steps at a time, his wand out, prepared for the worst. It was however a worse worst than the one he'd considered. Harry was tied to one of the comfy armchairs, his school robes tossed aside on the floor. His shirt was undone and by the preadatory mauling courtesy of Miss Granger, Snape didn't think the shirt was long for this world.

Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were standing at either side of the boy, stroking his cheeks as Harry struggled to free himself from his bindings. The boys in the class were just watching in fascinated horror, unable to do anything as they watched Hermione kneeling between his knees, her head bobbing up and down in a familar rhythm. Trelawney was watching with a faraway look in her yes, but since that was how she nomally looked, Snape had no idea how badly the bunnies had affected her.

"Unhand that boy at once, you floozies!" roared Snape, casting a stunning spell in the direction of Lavender and Parvati. They both fell to the floor with a loud thud, but his spell hadn't even grazed Hermione. This called for more direct action. Snape marched over to her and pulled her bodily away from Harry. "You brazen hussie! How dare you!" he roared as Hermione stumbled onto the floor, her mouth wet with saliva and other fluids.

"Oh, Professor! You saved me!" groaned Harry and Snape made the mistake of looking directly at him. The boy was naked from the waist down, his trousers and underwear tangled around his ankles. Slightly hairy legs reaching up to well muscled thighs and there, nestled among dark curls was the most wondrous sight Severus Snape had ever seen. Harry Potter's aroused cock.

The boy's whole body was flushed with arousal, his eyes so dilated that there was only a small rim of emerald around the edges. He was breathing heavily too, every breath causing his cock to shudder with movement. Already precome was leaking from the tip and Snape so wanted to taste it, but was aware of the other students in the room.

He stalked closer to Harry and closed his fist around the boy's leaking prick. Harry yelped and then moaned.

"Do you see this?" Snape asked of everyone in the room as he gave Harry's cock another squeeze. "This is mine! No-one but me touches Harry Potter's cock, is that clear? Anyone of you come near him again and I will hex you so far into the past you'll become your own grandparents! Is that clear?"

"Yes sir," was the uttered mumble from the rest of them.

Snape removed Harry's bonds, draped his school robe around the boy and scooped him up in his arms. Harry's clothes were still around his ankles, but he could remove them in a moment. He dropped a pinch of floo powder in Trelawney's fire and floo'd them both back to his quarters.

He placed Harry on the bed and then proceeded to undress himself, cursing himself for wearing so many buttons today. If he'd known the author was going to write a slash scene, he would have been better prepared.

"Sir?" Harry looked up from the bed, his hair a tousled mess as always. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like, Potter? I'm getting undressed, then I'm going to suck you so hard that you'll be seeing stars. Then before you've quite recovered I'm going to deflower that virgin arse of yours so that you'll be spoiled for anyone else and you will fall madly in love with me. Any objections?"

"No sir," said Harry, shucking the rest of his clothes so fast that Snape was sure there must have been a spell involved somewhere.

THE END

"What? No!" wailed Harry. "You can't end it there, not when he's about to pound me into the mattress! I need to come!"

The author bit her nails and looked at Snape. "Do you wish this story to continue?"

Snape glowered at her, quite a feat considering he was completely naked and very aroused, and didn't deign to give her an answer.

"I can assure you, Mr. Potter you are going to come. I guarantee it."

Harry moaned and pushed himself up on his elbows, mashing his mouth to Snape's. The boy had no finesse, no style, but Snape found himself melting into the kiss anyway. Untutored enthusiasm certainly made up for a lot. Their tongues tangled for a few moments, Snape could feel Harry's erection pressing wetly against his hip and knew it would not take him long. He gently pushed the boy back down on the bed and pressed his body along the length of Harry's, aligning their erections, still kissing.

Harry arched up towards him, pulling his mouth away. "Oh, professor! That's divine!"

"You'll think I'm a god by the time I'm through with you," growled Snape as he licked Harry's neck and thrusted against him. Snape could feel how excited Harry was, how excited he was. It had been a long time since he'd done this, this frantic slap of flesh against flesh, rutting like teenagers and he moaned into Harry's neck. He was not going to last long, but it was feeling too good to stop and try something else. He could feel Harry's heart beating next to his own, tapping out the same frantic rhythm of his.

"Oh, God! Please!" begged Harry. "I need to come!" The boy was writhing underneath him, clawing at Snape's back and then he threw his head back and howled. Snape felt the warm wetness splash his cock and belly and suddenly he was there too, spurting his release between their bodies, sweat sticking to both of them.

He gazed down at the boy in his arms, Harry's glasses had fogged up and he couldn't see his eyes, so Snape removed them and stared at the Boy in His Bed. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you too, Professor," sighed Harry.

"We'll have to work on that professor bit," he admonished. "But we've got plenty of time."

"Yes," said Harry. "Forever."

THE END  
(really)


End file.
